You never know!

After two years of praying to have a prayer group at my place it came true! In a supernatural way, my church in Wiesbaden was actually searching for a place to start a group in Frankfurt, so people could come together in their city. Wow! Then a challenge came with the question if I could lead the group. Yes! But I had great respect, I was part of different prayer groups since I was about 13years old, and I respected and honoured all my leaders, loved their wisdom and the way they loved people. Do I have what it takes? Certainly not! You know me, Lord, I can do this only if You lead me! I want You to lead, Holy Spirit! Everytime we come together! Not from my own strength. I don´t desire a discussion group, Lord, I desire a family. So, challenge accepted.

I went on my knees as I was preparing for every meeting, and asked the Lord what He wanted to do. And I always got an answer! Always! First themes were repentance, forgiveness, then I was lead to encourage others to share their favorite Bible stories and explain their meaning for their lives. Once as I was praying for the group and I heard: „You are not supposed to lead an anonymous life. Tell them your story!” I thought ok, Lord, the group is getting more stable now, I can do it. The short or the complete version? Guess what the answer was 😊

That evening four new people came. Lord, what does it mean? Am I supposed to share the deepest things of my heart with these ´strangers´? What did You think? My co-leaders were there, and I thought I am going to make a fool out of myself, sharing my deepest emotions and experiences with people I don´t know at all. But I knew He didn´t change His plan. So I started, shared my heart, openly, honestly, at some point I was almost sure some people will stand up and leave, as I shared some what you could call controversial issues for the church. But to my surprise they all listened till the end. I saw tears, amazement, understanding in their eyes. I was so relieved. We became family! We started sharing deeper things of our hearts.

BUT there was one girl at the meeting, who never showed up again. I thought, well Lord, maybe it was too much for her, maybe I should not have shared everything. We were sending her emails, but never got an answer. Imagine my surprise, when few months later I received an email from her. Thanking and sharing her healing testimony. At the end of every meeting we pray for those who want a prayer, especially for those in need of physical healing. This girl had ovarial cysts, so big, that the doctors were already planning an operation. Hormonal therapy was stopped and she said, as we prayed, she received complete healing. The day she was writing this email, she had a new examination and the cysts were gone! Completely vanished! The doctor couldn´t believe it. What a surprise! Until then I was sure that somehow I failed with her! And meanwhile something so beautiful happened! I was soo wrong! My perspective was so different from His! I realised that sometimes we don´t see behind the veil. Sometimes things stay hidden from us for a certain time. I am sure for a good reason. We just can be obedient, do what He tells us to do and trust Him to do the rest. He is always working! Instead of worrying we can be confident that He will fulfill His promises in His time.

It just taught me more humility and humblesness. I don´t need to know the whole picture, I don´t need to understand everything and I will certainly not on this earth, but I need to love Him, listen to Him and surrender. Especially at times when I don´t understand...