Do you trust Him?

Just the third day of my stay in Nepal I got this terrible diarrhoea. It really surprised me, as I was sure nothing like that is going to happen to me. I was carefu lwith the food, washed my hands with antibacterial tissues, drank only bottled water. Just once I forgot and brushed my teeth with an unfiltered water. Well, sometimes once is enough to get you into trouble..

But even though, I was determined not to miss out on anything of our journey ahead. And my super patient friends made it possible. Making frequent stops on our trips, constantly looking for the toilets, holding my feet up after collapsing, was surely not so much fun for them either. Since I entered the country and also in the middle of this I kept hearing the quiet Voice asking: „Do you trust me? Do you REALLY trust Me?" It went on and on  and on.. I thought to myself, what an appropriate time to ask a question like this. But the Voice didn´t stop, so I had to respond. My soul cried out: „Lord, You know I trust You!" And then one thing after another I proclamined: „I trust you with my family! I trust you with my future! I trust you with my job! I trust you with my finances! I trust you with my health! I trust you with all I am and all I have!" And then finally I heard: „Do you trust me? Because I TRUST YOU". And I saw a very precious treasure being put in the little, dirty, childlike hands. The Father has given us the most precious treasure He had: His only beloved Son. He has given us Jesus as a sacrifice to pay the price, so we may come alive in Him. He has given us the cross and its power into our little hands and then He said: „I trust you with this. You are my chosen, you are my beloved, I trust you".

This brought back a memory of one Saturday morning. I was getting ready for my shift in the hospital and was thinking how hard it is to work 12 days in a row, with no day to rest in between. As I was complaining about my situation, I suddenly saw Jesus looking down at me, hanging on the cross and saying: „I died, so you may go.“  Instantly I was so sorry and ashamed for thinking that, wanted to hide somewhere. My perspective changed and I said: „I am sorry, Lord, you have finished the hard work, so I may go and bring you to the lost. Thank you, thank you that you chose me. What a privilage, I will go with a joyful heart!" Joy pure took over as I realised that I may do this for Him!

Back to Pokhara, Nepal. After that encounter I spent the evening alone in His Presence and because I was physically exhausted I could just lay in my bed, unable to move, unable to sing or pray audibly, but I worshipped Him with all my heart, all my soul, I was just humbled by His Love and Trust. The next day I was feeling much much better. Few days later I experienced a beautiful heavenly visitation and few weeks later He asked me to quit my job, which I did with an expecting heart. Do you really trust Him?